


Lay It All Down

by aishjinjaa



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bodyguard Johnny, Drinking, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mafia NCT, Major Character Injury, Minor Injuries, Mob boss Taeil, Non-Graphic Violence, None of the characterizations are canon, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Right hand man Johnny, Smut, Switch Seo Youngho | Johnny, Switch Taeil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2020-07-07 19:33:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19856866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aishjinjaa/pseuds/aishjinjaa
Summary: As the reluctant inheritor to the biggest family of organized crime within the region, mob boss Taeil has to lead the family while his younger brother is groomed to take over. Nervous and unsure, he has to hold on to the last things that anchor him to who he really is: his brother Donghyuck, and his best friend and right-hand man, Johnny.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: None of the characterizations is canon and everything is purely fictional and a product of a hyperactive mind. Just like all my work, this is unbeta-ed and I edit things late so if there are typographical errors and other mistakes, please do not hesitate to point them out and I will be very willing to correct them right away.

Things were happening too fast. He was just eating dinner when he sensed something was wrong. He was talking to his younger brother Donghyuck and urging everyone else to eat at the table with them but no one would. Normally, the smell of the food would entice a few others, especially Johnny and Mark. But they just stood still, alarmingly serious. “Hey,” he motioned to Johnny to come forward.

“Yes?” he lowered himself down so Taeil can whisper to him.

“Is something wrong?”

Before he could answer Taeil, he stood straight back up and pressed two fingers against his receiver, throwing a nervous look at Mark. Suddenly, Taeil is pulled urgently. With the way he was trained he dropped everything and allowed himself to be dragged away as he looked back at his younger brother being urgently grabbed by Mark, himself.

“Quickly,” Johnny speeds into a half-run while he wrapped one arm around Taeil, pressing close and pressing an urgent hand on his head. They’ve practiced this multiple times in the past—this exact position was the standard operating procedure. This was reserved for emergencies and bodyguards were trained to only do this when they were getting prepared to shield the family from bullets. They were making themselves that one barrier that ensured a family member stayed alive.

Taeil breathed nervously; this was the one procedure he’d always prevented Johnny from doing. ‘ _Just let me die’_ , ‘ _just let me get shot’_ he’d joke and his friend would laugh with him and joke along with him; ‘ _as if i’d be willing to get shot for you’,_ he’d say. But right now, Johnny had him almost in a headlock, seriously guiding him further and deeper into the mansion. He tried to straighten up but Johnny made him duck every time he attempted to do so. “Stay down.” He warned. His voice was deep and serious, a tone he’d rarely heard from Johnny in the past. They continued to descend until they were led into one of the most guarded parts of their house, a long hallway which was considered another wing of the house, constantly guarded by as many as 6 armed people who had to urgently check their identities perfectly before they let them in. Even in the presence of the two sons, the wing was the most vital, and the most impenetrable part of the house and the guards outside would rather die than give anyone else access inside.

Before the heavy, metallic, security doors closed behind them, he heard the faint sound of gunshots before they were locked in. “What was that?” he immediately turned to his brother who seemed unfazed.

“They’re gone?” he instead turned to Mark, who looked down morosely.

Then it dawned on Taeil—they should have been expecting this. The rival family has been trying to _negotiate_ with them for territorial boundaries for months now, and they’ve been trying to lock the deal for weeks. Things were expected to go south, but not like this. “Both of them?” Taeil asked Mark.

“Both.” He nodded.

Taeil’s heart sank, not only for him and his brother but for Johnny and Mark, too. _Both_ meant their father, the head of the family, and Uncle Suh—their father’s right-hand man and bodyguard and Johnny and Mark’s father. Johnny breathed deeply before he urged them forward. “Mark, take Donghyuck to his room and assign someone to guard his door for the night.” Mark nodded fervently at every instruction out of Johnny’s mouth as Donghyuck was guided to a nearby room. “Taeil, come with me.” Johnny kept a steady hand on his elbow, his usual excitable demeanor was completely absent from his features.

He kept thinking back to his father—a good father, a terrible neighbor, and an even worse enemy. He wondered what had gone wrong, or if the news was actually confirmed, he was nervous, agitated, and anxious but he tried to keep his cool. Johnny opened the door to the furthest room and guided Taeil in with the softest of touches on his back. “Mark and I need to monitor the rest, you need to get some sleep.”

“Johnny, wait,” he grabbed his wrist before he could even close the door. “Are you okay?” Johnny looked forlorn—his relationship with his father wasn’t like the one Taeil had with his. His father wasn’t abusive but he made sure to keep his distance. He was formal with his sons, but he still made sure to be present in both of their lives, even if it was just to mold them both into inheriting the family business. Johnny’s father, on the other hand, had been a very present dad. Even though he’d been training his sons as bodyguards for the family, he made sure they had happy, content, childhoods, and even acted as a friend apart from his responsibilities as a father. Taeil pulled him down by the neck and hugged him tightly, rubbing soothing caresses down Johnny’s back. The lack of reaction was evidence of the taller boy’s surprise.

It wasn’t like Taeil wasn’t an affectionate person, he was, but he wasn’t—to Johnny specifically. Maybe it had something to do with the way they were raised, yes, they were best friends and he trusted Johnny, _oh_ trusted him more than he even trusted himself but ever since they’ve been old enough all everyone seemed to treat Johnny was as an extra layer of shield around Taeil. As the boss’ oldest son, there were many shields around Taeil. The general security staff, the ground security staff, a whole team of bodyguards who hover around him without coming near him, and then Johnny—Johnny who was trained to intercept a bullet, Johnny who was even trained to jump to a bomb if it meant saving Taeil’s life. He kept his distance for a reason, for the first few years at least. The thought of having an actual extra life in the form of a friend unsettled him. But Johnny managed to break down those defenses with his unrivaled charisma and wild sense of humor—for all those years that the family maintained dominance around the region, he had continuously assured Taeil that there will never be a need for Johnny to die in his place. It will never happen. Johnny eventually returned the hug and sighed against Taeil’s shoulder. “It’s okay. You’re here, you’re safe, that’s what’s important.” He murmured before letting Taeil go. “But I really need to go now. Thank you.” He patted Taeil’s head and turned before closing the door behind him.

Voices went over each other, loud and almost indiscernible as arguments broke out throughout the table. Taeil had been guided to sit at the head of the table, immediately filling in for his father’s place. He had crossed his legs and had both of his hands on the table as he calmly tried to make sense of all the conversations and arguments breaking out all around him. He didn’t understand a thing but his father had always reminded him to keep a cool facade especially in front of the associates. The house has had some threats in the past few days but they eventually managed to push the rivals back, based on what he has heard from Johnny and Mark, the soldiers managed to retaliate as intensely, although they didn’t manage to take care of the boss but they did manage to incapacitate them and push them back significantly. Donghyuck slowly rose from his seat and an immediate silence fell all across the room. “Let’s give the floor to the new boss,” he turned to Taeil. For a second there, he wanted to falter, but he kept his ground. As his brother sank back into his seat, he nodded to him before turning to ten pairs of eyes staring back at him.

“Lee?” He turned to his father’s highest-ranking commander. “What seems to be the issue here?”

“Some members of the family,” he slowly speaks up, side-eyeing those who still looked like they had a lot to say. “Are expressing their dissent about.. you taking over. Pardon me, sir, but many of us have observed that your younger brother has better propensity when it comes to leading the family.”

He turned to Donghyuck and smiled. His brother smiled back. His little devil. “I agree.” A murmur rose throughout the room and the heavy atmosphere had immediately lifted. Still, many of them had unreadable expressions.

“Sir,” Lee interjected. “We do see it but Donghyuck is too young to take over. He’s still 20.” He felt his brother deflate out of the corner of his eye. “He can’t even enter some countries without assistance.”

“He’s of legal age.”

“For drinking, voting, smoking, and curfews, sir, yes,” Lee insisted. “Everyone at this table has no problems with your brother.” And they shouldn’t. Donghyuck commanded more authority, although Taeil commanded more fear—mostly because Donghyuck has a jolly aura around him which he usually uses to hide his manipulative ways while Taeil had always shown them a colder image. Donghyuck was a better shot, more acquainted with the business, and most of all, Donghyuck _wanted_ to take over—Taeil didn’t. “But many from the lower ranks, they’re less acquainted with your abilities and respects the hierarchy. Many of them wouldn’t accept your brother as the head, mostly since they still see him as a child,” he explained calmly. “This could cause a rift in the lower ranks and we need to stabilize them, now more than ever.”

“I understand that,” he calmly added. He looked around the table and the issue seemed to have become more settled. The arguments may have been centered around the fear that Taeil might not take others’ dissent too kindly. “Would they become more lenient with Donghyuck if he’s of legal age?”

“They will be, sir,” Kim, from beside Donghyuck, who had obviously been one of those who continuously campaigned for the younger brother to take over, added.

“Then I have a proposition,” Taeil addressed the entire room. “I will take over the family until Donghyuck becomes 21, or until there is a general assent regarding his capabilities. He will stay close to me and be my adviser, not only because he knows this entire deal better than I do, but because we need to show the rest that Donghyuck would be a better fit to lead the family.”

Taeil looked at himself in the mirror, trying to straighten his clothes up for the last time before clenching his teeth together, which Donghyuck said made him look tougher and steelier. Now that he looked at it, it did kind of seem that way. He sighed then gave up on his expression; it wasn’t worth the extended effort since he has never shown his softer side in front of any of the associates, anyway. Whenever they met with his father, or whenever they visited their home, Taeil always retreated back to his room or maintained a steely expression whenever he was asked to interact with them. His father constantly reminded him to—he was the older child, someday—someday—he was supposed to inherit not just the wealth and the property, but also the business. But he didn’t expect someday to come this soon, and a steadily rising panic had been clawing at him for days now, ever since the meeting with the family.

He was still in his early twenties and he was expecting at least 15 more years before he had to inherit everything. Aside from the family, their father did not have a problem with Donghyuck inheriting everything, they had talked about it before, but Donghyuck was still considered a minor, and with their father’s unexpected death, Taeil obviously had to inherit the business alone.

Well, not really alone. He looked at the other reflection in the mirror, still and serious, Johnny was still hovering over him like a mother cat. He constantly reminded him that he was in his room, he was safe there, and he didn’t really need him there but Johnny was on full-on protective mode. After the ambush that killed both of their fathers, he had become more vigilant, although Taeil realized that the vigilance was not for self-preservation but was rather aimed at protecting him. Taeil wasn’t the only person with inherited responsibilities. Johnny is guarding him now just as his father guarded Taeil’s father, and back, and back. Someday Taeil can have children and Johnny can have his own and one of Johnny’s children will still have to protect Taeil’s child. But not if Donghyuck inherits the business. Then Taeil would have to move somewhere far and Johnny would have to stay and protect Donghyuck, that’s just how it is.

“How do I look, Johnny?” Considering that the younger has been staring at him through the mirror the entire time, he figured he could just ask him, although it isn’t a completely unbiased opinion.

“Like you’ve killed a thousand men, sir.”

“Don’t call me ‘sir’,” he immediately chastised.

“But you have a reputation to uphold, you should be—,”

“Everyone else will call me ‘sir’, but not you,” he looked at him through the mirror, expressing his sincerity through his reflection. “And not Donghyuck,” he finally added, giving them both a sense of familiarity through adding the younger into the equation. “I will need you both to ground me when things get tough, okay?”

Johnny hesitated before smiling at him through the mirror. “Yes.”

“It’s just one more year,” he added quietly, breaking eye contact. “One more year before Hyuck turns 21.”

“Is he excited?” Johnny inquired. Donghyuck has wanted to inherit the business since he was young and there was something about that which unsettled Taeil a lot. They were both trained for command, in any event, Taeil was unable to take it. Which ultimately, he understood as “in case he dies”. But Taeil doesn’t need to die. As they were both exposed to the business, trained in combat, taught how to drive, identify and use guns, it became more and more apparent that Donghyuck enjoyed it more than he did. Still, none of Donghyuck's will could convince the rest that his younger brother was ready to be the next boss and neither were they willing to be subject to a 20-year-old. They needed him to be an adult first. A proper adult.

“Where will we go when Hyuck takes over?”

Taeil’s head snapped up, as he finally turned around to face Johnny. With their distance, he didn’t have to raise his head to look at him, and he likes it that way so he keeps his distance. He stares at him incredulously, wondering if what he heard was right. “What do you mean we? You’re staying here with Hyuck.”

Johnny pursed his lips together, obviously regretting his words, before looking away. “Right,” he nodded. “I forgot that I was supposed to stay with whoever was boss. I was just used to thinking that I’m supposed to protect you. Just you.”

“Well, for now, that’s a good mindset.” He doesn’t like talking to Johnny like this: formal, clean-cut, and almost hostile. So many things had changed in a span of a few days and when he was shoved into a room with Johnny, they both didn’t know how to act. They both just lost their fathers and barely had time to mourn before they have suddenly pushed around and set in place. His best friend was supposed to be subordinate to him now—his best friend was expected to die for him now.

“ _Johnny,_ ” he made sure that his best friend could hear the urgency in his voice. “I know everything around us has changed, I know nothing else would be the same.” He took a step forward, erasing the distance between them as a symbol of his sincerity. “But _we_ don’t have to change. You are my best friend, and you should trust me with everything the same way I trust you with everything. You don’t have to feel like you need to act like your father, you’re different, _they were_ different. We,” he pointed to both of them. “Have a different dynamic and we will find a way to find a balance, okay?”

Johnny’s lips curled up into a smile—a genuine one, Taeil could identify it easily. “I’m sorry, I’m just worried.”

“It’s gonna be fine. You’re gonna be okay.”

“I’m worried about _you,_ ” he put a hand on Taeil’s neck. Throughout the years Taeil realized that these small gestures of affection was not something that Johnny did to calm Taeil down, but was rather to calm _himself_ down.

“But I have you,” Taeil whispered.

“Yes,” Johnny nodded, expression intense. “Always.”

“And you have me, Johnny, remember.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you have any questions, comments, and criticisms, feel free to do so!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is set a few months after the first chapter so i've changed the tone, don't be confused fdjklfgfg

The sound of limbs hitting surfaces and a little bit of shouting filled the hallway as Taeil walked towards the gym with one of Johnny’s proteges, Jaehyun following him from a distance. This entire annex to the main house was reserved specifically for the bodyguards. Their rooms were here, the gym was here, even the shooting range was right underneath their building—he didn’t see Johnny outside his door when he woke up so he went to find him right after.

Since the gym was at the topmost part of the building, the sound carried down to the stairs. “Jaehyun,” he paused as the bodyguard rushed beside him.

“Yes, sir?”

“You can leave me, I’m in your building anyway.”

“Sir,” his steely face faltered a little. “I’m on direct orders from Johnny, sir. I can’t leave you.”

He sighed and kept walking to the source of the sound, before he finally stopped by the gym, with all its doors open, allowing the sounds of Johnny’s sparring and the occasional groans and shouts from him and the trainer. Taeil quietly came into the room and as soon as one of the younger trainees spotted him, he was immediately given a chair so he could watch Johnny train comfortably. Jaehyun hovered behind him, still not leaving his side even though he was in a room full of bodyguards. Johnny was out of his usual crisp suit and he was in dangerously thin, short shorts, with the sleeves of his black shirt tucked short to show his toned arms. He was seriously training with one of the younger trainers, Mr. Oh throwing both punches, kicks, and elbows—neither of the two had noticed his arrival yet. He just sat there and watched Johnny train. He knew Johnny didn’t have to hover all around him 24/7. He had to sleep and train, too, so Taeil is usually guarded by about 2 to 3 people per day, with 8 or 12-hour shifts each, although he only interacts with Johnny since the other guard just sits outside his door when he sleeps but Johnny tries to stay with him for more, until Taeil forces him to go to sleep. Johnny is with him with almost his every waking second and he’d been completely disoriented when he came out of his room and he didn’t have to look up as much when he looked at the guard outside his door.

“Where’s Johnny?” he demanded from Jaehyun.

“He traded shifts with me, sir,” the man promptly answered. “Trainer Oh was coming to meet with him today and it’s the only vacant time he has for Johnny. I have to stay with you from 8 AM to 4 PM, and he’ll pick up the shift from there.”

Taeil glanced at Jaehyun—he hoped he wasn’t insulted by the fact that the first thing he’d asked for in the morning was Johnny and when he discovered Johnny wasn’t going to stay with him for the majority of the day he immediately asked where he is and followed him himself. Who needs extra bodyguards when you’re gonna look for the original one, anyway?

Finally, Johnny spotted him and he stopped, pointing him out to Trainer Oh. “Sir,” the older man nodded in his direction while Johnny leaned against the ring ropes, sweat trickling slowly down his throat. “Is there anything I can help you with, sir?” he panted, but there was a mischievous smile playing on his lips. He might have expected this by the smug smile he has on his face.

“You didn’t tell me you were gonna change shifts with Jaehyun.” He feigned a steely, authoritative voice, dropping it considerably, which sent shivers down Johnny’s spine.

“That’s my fault, sir,” Trainer Oh interjected nervously, not getting the weird tension between the two. He didn’t understand that they were just playing around through their weird, slightly sexually-charged tension. “I scheduled this without telling him.”

“Don’t worry Soojun,” the man was considerably older than he is but following the hierarchy of the family, as the boss, he was supposed to call everyone else through their first names. Well, with the exception of the highest-ranking associates whom he simply calls through their last names, without even bothering with the Mister. “Johnny, come here for a second.” He motioned with his index finger and everyone within the nearest vicinity backed away to give them space as Johnny bent and slid fluidly between the ropes as he bit the Velcro from his gloves while maintaining eye contact. Taeil _rarely_ acted like this—all clingy and needy. But Johnny figured, this also has been the first time that he hadn’t been there when Taeil woke up ever since the ambush that killed their fathers. He might have felt a little sense of panic and disconnect.

“What’s up?” he knelt in front of him, holding onto his thighs for support.

“You didn’t tell me you were going to change shifts.” He complained again.

“I’m still on rotation,” Johnny smirked lopsidedly and Taeil hates how he _sometimes_ reacts to that. “I’m gonna be with you from 4 until you fall asleep.”

“When are you gonna sleep, though?” he asked worriedly.

“When you do.”

Taeil sighed. It’s not like he can tell him _not_ to do that. If there was anything else that Johnny followed more than he followed Taeil’s every whim, it was the fundamental rules of the household. The primary bodyguard should not sleep until the boss is asleep. While Taeil sleeps, it’s the job of the rest of the security staff to watch over him, while Johnny remains on call, even as he slept. “I have a meeting today at 2. I kinda want you there.”

“Are you not the boss?” Johnny smiled. “Move it to 4. I’ll be there.”

Taeil scoffed. “Kim is gonna be pissed.”

“He can be pissed,” Johnny brushed off. “It’s not like he can do anything to you. Even if you piss off the entire table of commanders, every single security personnel in this house is sworn to you. They’ll lose a finger before they can even start to threaten you.” Something in Johnny’s eyes changed. It was the same expression that he adopted whenever Taeil was in actual danger—focused and lethal. He was probably envisioning Taeil in danger for him to act this intensely. “And of course, I’ll go after him. I won’t be too nice.” He sometimes forgets how Johnny was trained to be so ruthless.

“Okay, calm down,” Taeil smiled as he chastised. “Kim hasn’t even reacted yet.”

“I just…” he gritted his teeth together. “I don’t trust him. I think he’s trying to manipulate the family to take head commander.”

“Donghyuck thinks so, too,” Taeil nodded, remembering back a memory of a conversation between him and his brother while briefing him about the commanders. “He doesn’t like me, too, so he’s campaigning for Donghyuck since he thinks he’s easier to manipulate.” They looked at each other with mirth in their eyes.

“He is in for one big surprise.” Johnny laughed. “Plus, Dongyoung and Donghyun are definitely on your side.” The younger was referring to Kim’s two sons, both vying for his position within the command when their father retires.

Taeil sighed, nodding. He didn’t like opening himself up with all these facial expressions like this but it was the annex, it was just the bodyguards present here. They’ve been witness to all the times Taeil had snuck into their building just to eat peanuts with Johnny on the rooftop, only to wake the whole building up with their rambunctious laughter. There was no need to hide here as much as when the commanders or soldiers surround him; they were business, the bodyguards were family. His father always reminded him that. Still, he wanted to maintain a certain air of authority and Johnny manages to break that down, bit by bit with every single word out of his mouth.

“Now, go,” he nudged him with his foot. “I’ve taken you away long enough. You should train more so that one barista can ogle your ass again.” He teased, but his tone didn’t slip past Johnny.

“You jealous?” He teased back.

“I’m bridging you, asshole, you need a love life.”

Johnny laughed before walking back to the ring. None of all the talk of finding Johnny a love life, however, stopped him from ogling said ass himself. He did tear his eyes away as soon as he realized. He focused back on him again, however, when Johnny started sparring again, baring his strong thighs while he did high kicks with quick precision. Taeil studied how his muscles moved and how he fought. He might need it someday. Knowledge of his fighting skills, not his muscles.

—

“We’ve contained the activities in the west-end, we’ve totally taken control of the area,” Lee reported, sliding a piece of paper in Taeil’s direction. “Our main front there is through a pharmacy.” This kind of reporting didn’t need the entire family so he only met with Lee and Kim for the reports.

“Who’s manning this area?” 

“The Jung’s, sir.” Taeil nodded. The Jung’s were loyal and trustworthy, and influential enough to control the business at that entire district themselves. “Sir,” Lee introduced. “Some of the soldiers caught some soldiers from the other side. We already have plans for the both of them but we need your signal before we can go ahead.”

Taeil hesitated but tried his best not to let it show. The thought of what the others do for the _business_ without his knowledge since only the biggest reports reach him. The rule was to always resolve the issue without having to tell the boss about it. But it didn’t mean he didn’t know what usually happened, he did. “You can do what you want to do with them,” he finally consents. “I take you’ve already planned this thoroughly yourself?”

“Yes, sir,” Lee nodded.

“Well, then, go ahead,” he handed the paper back to him. “Just remember that you’ll be dealing with the consequences with whatever happens.”

“I know, sir.”

“Okay, then, you can go.” He nodded to both men, dismissing them. As soon as Taeil heard their footsteps recede further and further away, he finally sighed and slumped against his chair in resignation. Keeping appearances were ultimately difficult—he’d thought it was easy. Well, it was, then, since he only had to keep appearances for a little while before he had to retreat to his room where he can finally breathe again. Now, however, he had to maintain the stoic expression and the low timbre of his voice to make sure he commands attention and to make sure they respect him.

Two strong arms came around the chair and deft fingers pressed against his temples, massaging gently. “Smile a little,” Johnny coaxed gently, and just like an automaton, his lips pulled up into a lazy smile. “Aren’t you tired of frowning?”

“My facial muscles hurt,” It’s not like Taeil smiled a lot in the past, but he has never frowned and kept a stern face for so long before he was starting to tire his muscles out.

“You _can_ smile, you know,” Johnny suggested, poking his cheek with his finger. “Your dad did.”

“I can’t right now,” he shook his head but Johnny put it in place as he continued to massage his forehead. “They need to take me seriously.”

“They do,” Johnny insisted. “They think Hyuck will be a better head because he likes this more, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t terrified of you. I even think they want Hyuck as the head because of the very fact that they’re _terrified_ of you.”

Taeil frowned, he hasn’t exactly done anything for them to be terrified of him. Sure, he’s better at hiding his emotions in public and only goofs around Johnny and Hyuck, and maybe some of the bodyguards who’ve been with the family for a long time. “They have no reason to be.”

Johnny stopped and chuckled from deep in his stomach. “You really think that?”

“Of course,” he turned in his chair, facing Johnny who had an amused smile on his face. “What?” He demanded.

“You don’t remember?”

“Remember what?”

“When we were still in High School, I think, they were training you with the uses of handguns,” Johnny started to narrate as he dragged a chair to sit in front of Taeil. “And they were doing these different simulations of different situations.”

“Yeah, I remember that.” He nodded, his lips twitching into a smile when Johnny moved him closer by dragging his chair forward effortlessly so Johnny’s closed legs went between Taeil’s spread thighs.

“You remember when the simulation involved me?” Taeil frowned, he remembered Johnny during those mini simulations but he always just observed. “There was a simulation where I was a hostage, you remember that?” _Oh. That._ To be very honest, he didn’t know what came over him then so he kind of liked to forget it ever happened. Their guns weren’t _real_ guns then, they were just the kind of guns you’d use in an airsoft competition—it was enough to hit and hurt someone but not really injure.

When the blindfolds were taken off, it was dark but he could spot someone on one corner of the room, and when he finally found the lights he found a man in the corner, cradling a bloodied (fake blood, of course) and horribly tied up Johnny. The man was taunting Taeil, telling him what he’d do to Johnny if he was given the chance.

More men came after that, around six more came in, all unfamiliar to Taeil, all of them were, and still were, soldiers for the family who he had never seen in person before. At first, Taeil didn’t pay attention to what they were saying and just paid attention to his strategies. He just stayed quiet, observing everything around him and looking for a chance to strike and save Johnny.

He’d mapped the entire room and all the possible escape routes when one of them took out a knife and ran its’ blunt side against Johnny’s jaw. Johnny gasped despite being gagged, and there was a look of genuine fear in his eyes, and blood rushed to his head, he was almost on the brink of panic.

But Taeil tried his best to stay calm since there were _various_ ways out. There was the small gap in the middle of the wall and the ceiling and he was sure they’d fit in there one at a time if they were just given the chance to be alone. There was an obvious slot behind him that could be a door leading out, but he needed to get Johnny out of the ropes first.

The same man who was cradling Johnny’s head ran the blunt side of the knife again, but this time, it was against his throat. At that moment, a new kind of anger took over Taeil—it was no longer panic, he’d never felt it before, it just came surging up. He could feel his neck and ears going red and hot even though he tried so hard not to react to what was happening. _This is fake, it's just a simulation, it’s fake._ But then Johnny choked out terrified groans as the sharper part of the knife was lightly pressed against the base of his throat and Taeil couldn’t stand it anymore. With a weird sense of calm, and armed only with one (fake) handgun and the unexplainable emotion that took over him, Taeil stood from where he sat and shot six men all straight to their foreheads. One of them managed to react before Taeil got to him and started trying to shoot himself but Taeil just walked forward with his gun aimed at him until Taeil was right in front of him—expressionless and cold, he shot the last man on the temple. They all had to play dead but the weird protective energy hasn’t washed off Taeil yet and he just watched as the others acted, unmoving.

He untied Johnny with the same knife the man had against his throat a few minutes ago and guided him out of the room.

He had two tests that day. He aced his shooting test marvelously, top scores.

Johnny saw the look on Taeil’s face and started realizing that he had remembered that simulation. “You’re good at acting,” Taeil commented, looking back.

“You’re a sharpshooter.” Johnny shot back playfully.

“You’re a better one. Plus, you’re a fighter.” He refused to give up.

“You’re very protective.” Johnny finally said, rendering Taeil speechless. He didn’t like admitting it himself since his father had always considered protectiveness as a character flaw within the family.

“Yes, I am.”

He failed his safety test. He was never supposed to save Johnny in the first place. The first rule that he learned after that was if they were faced by a situation where they were taken along with their bodyguards, they should find their own way out themselves and they were supposed to leave their bodyguards behind. But ever since then, everyone knew, Taeil will _never_ leave Johnny. He will murder a room full of mob men, but he will not leave his best friend behind. News of the simulation spread to the entire family, and even the soldiers, as Mark reported, and ever since then, everyone had been terrified of Taeil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my playlist is making me want to write spicy things and it's chapter two. but no, i'm holding it out. if anyone wants the playlist that i made for this fic, here it is: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1LhfbxWFJUvBbjuOgcScKu?si=l2gdTEZ_R9eJjLHBx4gTWg
> 
> i hope you all enjoyed this chapter! please leave comment or you can dm me on twitter @choisoftcheol


	3. Chapter 3

Taeil walked out of the shower groggily—his body still tired and half asleep. Despite the full seven hours of sleep that he’s gotten and the hot shower he took, his mind was still clouded and lagged behind his body as if he’d run a marathon the previous night. He did nothing but sit on a chair while he watched Johnny train, why was he so physically exhausted? “You’re here,” he turned to the formal-looking boy fixing his bed. It was a normal thing for both of them, but now that Taeil looked at it, his routine with Johnny every morning could be considered slightly unconventional. While Taeil prepared every morning, Johnny would asign someone else to guard the outside of his room and come in himself to tidy up. He’d fluff Taeil’s pillows, smooth the blankets down, and he’d even sometimes straighten his own framed picture perched up on Taeil’s bedside table, even in his crisp suit and four guns: two Desert Eagle .50 cals locked on his waist holster, and two Smith and Wesson M&P 40’s slinging on his on-body holster, the crossing leather across his back bringing back a lot of suppressed memories in Taeil. “We’re in our mid-20s,” Johnny once commented. “Doesn’t your dad find it weird that you still have my picture on your bedside table?”

“He has your dad’s picture, too.” Taeil pointed out.

“In his office, yeah,” he nodded as if his implications were obvious. But it wasn’t to Taeil. “And it was a picture of the two of them. This one just has me.”

“Stop making me get rid of it.” He complained. He liked that picture of Johnny. Johnny, however, didn’t like it that much. He said he looked _too happy_ in the picture and anyone who saw it could have second thoughts about his authority, but that happiness in it is what made Taeil frame it and put his on his bedside table.

“I’m not,” he took a much softer tone. There was nothing toxic about Johnny’s masculinity, although many got the impression that he was hypermasculine, didn’t like to smile, and liked to prove his strength. But Taeil knew Johnny. Deep inside, he was one strip away from being a princess and all the “masculinity” was just all for show. To establish dominance over anyone who would try to undermine Taeil. He was Taeil’s protection and he can’t be weak, can’t be undermined, and can’t be vulnerable. “I’m just worried that your dad might comment on it.”

“He hasn’t.”

Right at that moment, Taeil watched Johnny as he threw some of the snack packets from his bedside table through the open door of his bathroom. “You should stop spacing out and get dressed, you have a meeting with the two Kim’s today.”

Taeil snapped to attention, looking for a towel to dry his hair. “Who’s the other one?”

“Kim Sukhoon,” Johnny clarified, bringing a towel over to him. He must have noticed him looking for one. He tightened the robe around his body and took the towel gratefully. “You know, Jungwoo’s dad.”

He nodded absentmindedly, toweling his hair harshly. His brain was still completely out of it and he barely registered what Johnny just said. He saw the taller boy sigh and leave the room, much to his disappointment. He liked having him around in the early morning when he just woke up, and he’s the first person Taeil ever sees. It wasn’t long, however, before Johnny came back into his room with a bottle of water.

“Take this,” he all but shoved the bottle into his chest, albeit playfully, before taking the towel from his hand. “Sit.” Johnny wouldn’t have gotten away with all his demands if there were other people around them, and he knew that, so he usually just does this when it’s just the two of them. He didn’t like undermining Taeil more than he disliked being undermined himself. Taeil sat gingerly while he willed his eyes not to close for too long or he’s going to want to go back to bed. Towel in one hand and his neck on the other, Johnny started dying Taeil’s hair for him. “How can you be such a baby,” a small smile tugged against his lips. “Drink the water, it’ll wake you up,” He urged while he reached for the hairdryer as if he had to. He does this _almost_ every morning, and it’s always weird for Taeil not to have him in the mornings. 

The hairdryer is warm and tickling against his neck, making him recoil his neck. “That tickles,” he chuckled.

“Just wait a little,” Johnny toweled and blow-dried his hair simultaneously, drying his hair much faster. He stared at Johnny through the mirror—focused and determined as if he’s solving derivatives instead of drying someone’s hair. His bow lips pulled into a tight line in his concentration, just like it always does when he’s putting all his effort on a task. He really is unbelievably handsome. He could be an actor, or… a model. _Lord,_ he envisioned Johnny in one of those clothing ads or one of the luxury perfume ones and he almost short-circuited. He can’t believe he’s wasting his life training to die for Taeil. 

“What are you thinking,” Johnny murmured, looking back at him through the mirror. 

“How you’d do a fantastic job as a model.” He immediately answered, definitely without his brain to mouth filter. “I mean, you’re tall and your face is… angular.”

“Thanks, I guess?” he chuckled good-naturedly. He didn't add the remaining part of his thoughts since he didn't want to invalidate years of Johnny's hard work. He may not think his life was worth spending all those years for, but Johnny did and he showed that through going through the program anyway and staying loyal to him. "There," he stepped back and admired his work. His left hand was still tight around his neck as he studied his own work, his fingertips pressing against Taeil’s skin, it almost burned when he removed his hand. "Go get changed, I'll tell them to get your breakfast."

"Thank you." He watched Johnny swiftly walk out of the bathroom and out of his room, almost as if he couldn’t stand being there any longer. 

\--

“Thank you for meeting with us, sir,” Kim Sukhoon smiled politely, sitting comfortably, manspreading in front of him while Kim Dongpil took the other seat across Taeil. Both older men leaned back against their lounges, obviously at ease with the location their boss chose. Ever since he took over, Taeil only took their meetings inside the comfort of his office, but Johnny had advised him to slowly get comfortable with the rest of the house since the commanders would appreciate it better that way. They liked to smoke whenever they met and talked about the business and they couldn’t do it in Taeil’s closed office. “We won’t take long, don’t worry.” The ever stiff Dongpil assured. 

“Go on, then,” Taeil urged, mimicking what he could remember from when he sat in one of these kinds of meetings in the past. This wasn’t one of those meetings where they need to be formal and following a certain protocol, as it wasn’t a set one. This was specifically requested by the two weeks ago, maybe expecting to face the bigger Moon, and not him. Taeil tried his best to intimidate them both, though.

Ever since he was young, he’s never really liked the two Kims. The head of the bigger Kim family, Dongpil, always wore a face whenever he talked to Taeil, like he could smell something on him so it wasn’t difficult for Taeil to shoot him the same look now. His sons, Dongyoung and Donghyun, however, were much nicer. They were both very shy, yes, but they were polite, and they were both friends with Johnny. The head of the smaller Kim family, however, presented himself much amiably, but Taeil still didn’t like him one bit. He always came off as a two-faced kiss-ass to him. That didn’t go the same way for his only son, Jungwoo, however, who was the closest person to a friend Taeil has aside from Johnny, Mark, and Donghyuck. 

“There is a new proposal and Sukhoon and I are thinking of backing it up,” Taeil leaned back into his chair, resting his left elbow on the arm just for added effect. Proposals were always presented to the boss, whether they may be for fronts or for actual legitimate business. Truthfully, the family has more than enough businesses that they profit from especially since his grandfather had originally invested in a small grocery front that eventually profited enough to expand and expand, wide enough to become a chain of shopping malls across the country—all under the control of one mob family. Because of the wealth, the main family has amassed, most of the new investments give most of their profits to those who proposed it in the first place, making the proposals much more competitive now that it had been back then.

Sukhoon lit a cigarette between his lips as he urged the older Kim to explain. “It’s a gun shop, sir,” he handed him a neat folder which was compiled like it was an actual company proposal. Those who said that the mob was simply an informal crime syndicate, they had been mistaken. They sometimes had some documents, although most were destroyed as soon as they stop needing it. 

“The gun industry isn’t super popular in Korea,” Taeil commented quietly while he flipped through the carefully organized documents. “How are you gonna make sure that we get a profit out of this?”

“We’ve done some research sir,” Dongpil straightened proudly, “Actually my son Dongyoung has made a very thorough examination,” Taeil studied the tall, gangly man. Almost everyone in the family knew he preferred his older son Donghyun, but Taeil had been hearing rumors that Dongyoung is actually catching up to his brother especially as soon as he started using his top-notch education to use. “His research found that there’s a rising demand for guns, especially hunting guns and handguns and we don’t have much competition. In some of our districts, we’d be the first gun shop.” He explained, dragging his chair closer to Taeil to point out the specific graphs Dongyoung had even made for the proposal. He spotted Johnny tense in his peripheral vision as he took a step closer to Taeil to watch over him more closely. “Plus, it would be a good front. We no longer need to smuggle our firearms, we can use the gun shop as a legal front for our gun purchases and carry over some of them for our use.”

Taeil didn’t answer right away, considering properly. “Johnny,” he turns his head towards his most trusted person and handed him the folder. “Please keep this for me.”

“Certainly, sir.”

“Thank you,” sometimes he wondered if he should talk to Johnny during these meetings if his voice can’t control itself and soften all the time with for his best friend anyway. He immediately turned back to the two Kim’s as he studied them both for a while. Their sons were very much like them. Sukhoon was more laid-back, relaxed, and approachable, observable through his free smoking in front of Taeil, blowing it in all directions. Dongpil, on the other hand, was more conservative and stiff and had always been smart and critical, much like his two sons. 

“Who is going to manage it, then?” he interrogated further. 

“My son, sir,” Sukhoon finally sat up. “Jungwoo. He has a business degree and he cannot be traced back to me, he’s only registered under his mother’s name so he’s safe.” Taeil nodded. Most of them worked that way, Donghyuck was registered only under his mother’s name, a choice mostly made if they want to give their children the choice to join or not. As the oldest son, Taeil didn’t have that privilege and is directly registered under his father. It was vital, therefore, to make sure no one outside the family knew what he looked like, which is the main reason why he locked himself up in the house all the time, except for when he lived with Donghyuck’s maternal grandparents when he was in school. He even went under a different name—Lee Jinhyuk—the one he uses for legal activities such as going out of the country, and maybe even when he marries someone someday. But everyone in the family knew who he really was: Moon Taeil. But the rest of the world thinks he's the estranged son of the biggest mob boss in the country and is supposedly living with his maternal aunt in New Zealand, away and unaware of his father’s business. Taeil can leave and wander, sure, but he has to do it under _very close surveillance._ The house is very well known and is constantly watched by intelligence operatives. Taeil chose to just stay inside. “Jungwoo would be the perfect candidate for it, sir.” Dongpil supported. “My sons are traceable back to me, it would be too risky. Jungwoo, on the other hand, is a rosy-cheeked civilian as far as the authorities are concerned.”

Taeil considered it for quite a while, but he still wasn’t 100% confident. “I’ll consider it,” he finally nodded. “Give me a few days to think it through. I’ll call you back here when I’ve made my decision.” Fortunately, the two seemed to be satisfied with that. 

“Thank you, sir,” Sukhoon smiled, trying to charm Taeil, albeit unsuccessfully. He put his cigarette out forcefully on a nearby ashtray before bowing deeply, with Dongpil following suit. 

Taeil stayed quiet and uncaring while the two walked away, their silhouettes getting smaller and smaller in the background. 

Quietly, he stood from his seat and looked out the balcony as he watched the two walk away—with an aura of pride around both of them.

—

His sheets seemed to swallow his limbs when he crashed against it at the end of the day. His hair was still damp from his shower but he didn’t care about drying it anymore. His back hurt from bending over his desk the entire day, and he completely drained all his social capital with all the people he had to talk to the entire day. He sighed against pillow. He'd only taken over for around two weeks and he's already drained of almost all his energy. He wished he had a view outside his room, but even when he moved out of his basement room and to the second floor of the house, his room was still wedged deep between hallways and rooms with not a single window. It was a security feature, but it also made is room ultimately melancholic and dark. The only chance he had for fresh air at that time was the rooftop of annex building but it was after six flights of stairs and he was even too tired to get up. _Next time, maybe._

A soft knock interrupted his thoughts. _Knock knock. Knock knock knock. Knock knock._ It was Johnny. "Come in." He rolled over lazily, trusting that aside from Johnny, it would only be Ten outside his door and he didn’t really feel conscious since it was simply in the presence of the older bodyguards. Johnny peeked in, already in his sleep clothes: shorts and thin shirt. He would probably change out of it and into a tank or something ever cooler right before bed and he probably just used the shirt since he was out and about. His hair was also damp and sticking against his skin, making him look at least 4 years younger than he usually looks. He _actually_ looks 24, even younger. He padded across the room and sat by the edge of the bed, looking over at Taeil. 

"Should I assign someone else to stand guard with Ten?" he inquired. "He just had trained the entire day and he took over my shift right after, he seemed exhausted, he might fall asleep."

"But, the others might already be resting," he frowned. He noticed Ten's exhaustion when he took over Johnny's post at around 5 in the afternoon but he didn’t point it out since he was surrounded by some of the commanders and even a few highly-ranked members of the family. 

Johnny sighed. "If you wanna let him stay out there, it's fine but I'm gonna worry the entire night." Lines have formed on his forehead and he looked around restlessly. 

Taeil smiled, glad he has Johnny around at such a challenging point in his life. "Send Ten back," he suggested. 

"How about you?"

"You can stay here with me," he suggested quietly, busying himself with a cooking game on his phone. "The surveillance staff is fresh and active, right?"

"Yeah," he answered quietly, scooting closer to Taeil, looking over his shoulder to watch his game. "Most of them are coming back from a full weekend." 

"They can watch over my room then," he shrugged, feigning nonchalance. If he was being completely honest, there was nothing nonchalant about him. He and Johnny hadn't shared a bed in a long time, and the last time that they did… "They can alert you if something weird is going on."

Johnny considered it for a while. He can hear the gears in his brain turning as he argued with himself. There were lots of things to consider. If he went back to the annex to sleep, he’d have to station a clearly exhausted Ten to guard outside Taeil’s room, he’ll worry and then he’ll have an uncomfortable sleep. If he slept beside Taeil, he’d have to be very alert since no one would be guarding outside the door so his sleep would be uncomfortable anyway.

He finally sighed. “Okay, I’ll stay here.” Leaning closer to rest his head on Taeil’s shoulder. He warily eyes the CCTV camera which clearly included them in the shot, although they provided some areas of the room with a blind spot. It was probably just Jaehyun, Mark, and Yuta manning the cameras, anyway. Those three grew up with them, they knew how close they were. They even sometimes joined them and their rooftop nights, back when standing by the edge of that rooftop wasn’t a danger to Taeil’s life yet. No one knew what the heir looked like, but sure as hell if someone did the Titanic on that very rooftop _now,_ that person is gonna get shot.

He didn’t know how many people or how many agencies or rivals had their eyes on the house the entire time but he was sure there was enough for them to be constantly vigilant. Just two weeks before the ambush, they hired more people to man the entire perimeter of the mansion—like soldiers looking out for spies in the forest.

“Stop sighing and worrying,” Taeil muttered just as his game ended. “There has been no security emergency aside from… you know. So, you need to relax sometimes.”

“How can I?” he closed his eyes, relaxing mainly against the headboard. He didn’t lead the entire security staff, but he headed the staff dedicated to protecting Taeil—the heir, the boss. As he thought about it, he couldn’t really imagine protecting someone else aside from Taeil. “You know,” he suddenly thought of sharing. “Mark shares my worry.”

Taeil, taken over by his curiosity, put his phone aside and turned to Johnny. “What worry?”

“I’m so used to protecting you, and he’s so used to protecting Hyuck, we couldn’t imagine not doing it,” he smiled bitterly. “After this one year is over, I’m gonna stay here to protect Hyuck, and you’re moving away somewhere with Mark. And to be very honest, we both aren’t very fond of the idea. I want to stay with you, and Mark wants to stay with Hyuck.” Johnny imagined his little brother hearing this entire conversation, on loudspeaker, since they always blast the recordings from Taeil’s room when he’s in there to alert them of anything unusual—then he just threw him under the bus.

“Mark’s training isn’t designed for the boss,” Taeil reminded him. “Mark wasn’t trained for ruthless murder; he wasn’t trained to be as protective.”

“But he is,” Johnny insisted. “He is _very_ protective of Hyuck. If Hyuck becomes boss, he will be able to protect Hyuck as adequately as I will, maybe even more. Besides, you won’t trust anyone who isn’t me or Hyuck, and Hyuck won’t trust anyone who isn’t you or Mark. A switch won’t work.”

Taeil sighed deeply. He understood Johnny’s point, but it wasn’t like the family will just let Taeil run away with their strongest and most seasoned bodyguard when he should be staying with the boss. Johnny’s training is more intensive—he knew how to use more types of guns, he knew more martial arts, not to mention he also looked bigger and sturdier than Mark and is a lot taller.

“Let’s ask Donghyuck about it sometime in the future,” he compromised, holding onto the hem of his shirt, urging him to trust him just that time.

Johnny gave the topic up, nodding. “I’ll hold you to that,” he pushed himself off the bed, but Taeil still held onto his shirt. “I’m gonna brief the surveillance team, then I’ll get my radio then I’ll be back.” He realized how small he was compared to Johnny then, and he wondered why he was being so difficult about the topic. He didn’t know what to do if he had to leave.

If he did, and Mark came with him, he’d have to go _far away._ Because he’s a mob boss, he’d be wanted in the country and he would never be able to live without fear so it would be like, out of the country far—he’ll have to change his name, change his identity altogether, and Mark would have, too. If it was Johnny maybe it’d be less awkward, more bearable, maybe even ideal. But if he stuck with Mark, they would both have cut off most of their contact with the family. Mark wouldn’t be allowed to see Hyuck again. He might not be allowed to see Johnny again.

“Johnny,” he whispered, trying to make the last part of it as quiet as possible. “I promise, okay? I’ll try… you know, to take you with me.”

Johnny smiled then, kind and hopeful before he patted the top of his head. “Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this update it super boring dslgfjldsf i know i dropped some foreshadowing, and some clues to the past so if you do have questions which _might_ be spoilers, you can dm me @choisoftcheol so we can talk about them! If you allow me I _do_ give out spoilers privately so just hmu and we can talk! 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

“Seriously, Johnny?” Mark greeted him with a scowl in his face and both his hands on his waist like their grandmother did when she chastised them when they were little. Yuta had a playful glint in his eyes, assuring him that they _did_ hear the whole conversation and have been teasing Mark about it. There was nothing to tease Johnny about, everyone knew how serious he was about coming with Taeil whenever he went. What the surprise for everyone apparently, is how Mark had that attachment with Donghyuck, too. 

“Lucky it’s just these two assholes,” he muttered, pouting. “If the others were here, they’d blabber.” He turned back to watch the cameras with Jaehyun. 

“Why do you get so shy about it, though?” Jaehyun seemed serious but he knew his tone, he was teasing Mark. “It’s normal to get attached to our bosses, especially with the way they train us. They make them out like we’re almost supposed to worship the ground they walk on. Of course, you’d get carried away.” Even though Jaehyun was just trying to “comfort” Mark, he did make a lot of sense. But the thing is, Mark already brought that up with Johnny before, and sure, they knew their protectiveness had become a part of their nature, but their training—especially for the two of them—wasn’t specifically for a person. Johnny was always trained to protect the future boss, and Mark was supposed to protect the other sibling, no matter who that was. Maybe it also explained his extended reflexes when it comes to Hyuck: it’s his training speaking. But their attachment—as the two of them knew, was completely separate from training.

But he wasn’t about to throw Mark under the bus for the second time that night. “Okay, well,” he shrugged. “Since the three of you were obviously eavesdropping, you probably already know that I’m going to send Ten to bed and there’s no guard outside the boss’ room tonight so enable more cameras around that perimeter for the night. Make sure all the windows are covered, too.” The three immediately got to work, quickly enabling more cameras from all angles, especially those which were disabled since it was supposedly directly within the line of sight of a guard.

“I’m gonna sweep the room before we go to sleep.” He noticed a small smile playing on Yuta’s lips and he had the strongest urge to kick his seat away, but he was still angling the cameras and he can’t mess that up. “What?” he demanded instead.

“Nothing.” Even his tone was playful. “It’s been a long time since you’d slept in the same room, in the same bed. The last time you did—” as soon as he noticed Yuta finishing with setting up, he kicked his seat right away, albeit almost aggressively, sending him 5 feet away.

“What? What happened the last time you did?” Mark tried to pry but he silenced him with a glare. “We got into an argument, that’s all.”

“Yeah, they did.” Yuta continued to tease as he tried to slide back in front of his computer, and it took Johnny every last bit of patience that he had not to fling him out of the room. “Shut up. As soon as you’re done with that tell me, I have to get my radio and my gun.”

He heard Jaehyun mutter _rest in pieces, Yuta_ before he finally shut the door behind him.

–

Ten was hesitant to leave but after multiple clearances from both the heads and the surveillance team, he finally relented and went to sleep. It took Johnny almost twenty minutes to make a sweep of the entire room before he unbuckled his gun and put it on the bedside table. “Is it okay if I put this here, or should I put it away, under my pillow?”

“There’s fine,” Taeil answered absentmindedly, scrolling through his phone. “I have mine in the drawer.” When he was finally satisfied, he finally sat by the edge of the bed and relaxed a little, watching as texted with his brother. “Isn’t he asleep, yet?”

“No,” the mafia boss sighed and leaned against him while he continued to type quickly. Taeil quickly relaxed with the thought that it was just him and his best friend in the room, with no one to impress or intimidate and eventually locked his arm around his and leaned against his shoulder. 

“Surveillance team is watching,” Johnny warned quietly, but it only made Taeil stick closer.

“It’s just Yuta,” he shrugged.

“Jaehyun and Mark are there, too.” Even though their security staff has been with them for _years,_ there were still things that only the most ancient staff knew about, and although there was nothing romantic going on between them, it’s been repeatedly been assumed in the past, and it’s been continuously used by other commanders to transfer Johnny into someone else, most specifically, their sons, to take advantage of the situation that they’ve found to be easily exploitable.

“Well, I’m the boss now, and no one can transfer you to someone else without my authority.”

“You’re opportunistic, did you know that?” Johnny joked, making Taeil smile.

“It’s a good thing I’m your boss, then,” he pronounces the last word slowly, looking at Johnny in the eye before throwing his phone aside. “Let’s go to sleep.”

Johnny was stunned for a while before he was pulled out of his reverie by his phone vibrating. There were two texts from Yuta.

_“_ _[🤮🤮🤮](https://emojipedia.org/face-with-open-mouth-vomiting/)”_

_“Please don’t film porn in there, we’re watching.”_

—

Johnny swore he could have only been asleep for a few minutes when he heard a small thud coming from outside the window. He immediately sprang up and glanced beside him to make sure Taeil is still there, and for additional precaution, he checked his pulse. He was fine. He reached for his phone in the darkness and alerted the surveillance staff, calling Yuta.

“Did you hear that?” he demanded as soon as he answered.

_“No, we’re on the other side of the house, why, did you hear anything?”_

“Yes,” his heart rate steadied—the usual reaction when he thinks Taeil is in danger, he suddenly gets a sense of calm that was very useful to stay alert and not panic. He reached for his gun by the bedside table and stood a few meters away from the side window where he thought the sound came from. “Please check the cameras by the west entrance and the entire perimeter outside the boss’ window,” he spoke in a low, quiet, voice. It could have been nothing, and he didn’t want to alert Taeil over something unconfirmed.

“ _Copy that_.” He heard Jaehyun confirm from the other side of the room. He tried to look around, wondering where he’d left his glasses before he went to sleep. He always put it near his gun so he could wear it right away, but he didn’t find it there. As an additional precaution, he decided to let surveillance know he currently has a blind spot. Quite literally. “And I couldn’t find my glasses anywhere, can you check the adjacent building? It could have been thrown—” the sharp sound of the window breaking and metal scraping flesh stopped Johnny and threw him to the ground upon impact.

“ _Johnny?”_ he could hear Yuta from the other line but his main worry was Taeil getting alarmed by the sound and probably getting up. “Get down!” Taeil’s eyes widened comically as he rolled off his bed and fumbled inside his drawer for his gun. “Yuta! Across the building! Now!” He could almost feel the thunder of multiple footsteps rushing around to protect the house and the sound of creaking metal as the gates were opened for a chase of whoever it was fired the shot.

“Taeil, inside the bathroom, now.” Even though Taeil has had intensive, lethal experience himself, he wasn’t supposed to engage, himself. He could only engage if his last line of defense was down: Johnny. As long as Johnny was still breathing and functional, he was locked inside the most protected space they could find. He immediately crawled, but instead of the bathroom, he was crawling towards Johnny’s direction—exactly where the shots were fired.

“What are you doing?” he groaned in pain as he attempted to roll forward. “I can stand. Go!”

“You’re injured.”

“No shit?” Maybe it was his training, or maybe it was just his gut feel, going towards protecting Taeil but he managed to pull him down to the floor as another round of gunshots broke the windows. He ignored the pain on his shoulder and crawled on top of his boss, blocking his head using his hands, and blocking his feet using his. It wasn’t the time to thank God the bosses were on the smaller side while his family was made up of huge men—well maybe except Mark, but what he lacked in height, he made up for his sharpshooting and furious determination.

The shots stopped and it took all of Johnny’s strength to push Taeil away. “Bathroom. Now!” Taeil crawled away as instructed, only standing back up when he was inside.

“Johnny, you’ve been shot.”

“I’ve had worse,” he responded as soon as he managed to rise to a low kneel. He reached for his phone and called Yuta who had disconnected from their previous call.

“Yuta? Status.”

“ _Everyone’s on the protocol, don’t worry. They’re searching the building right now, stay down until we clear it._ ”

“Copy that.”

“ _The boss?”_

“He’s safe,” he made eye contact with Taeil who still hasn’t shut the door.

“ _And you?”_

“I have one wound but I’m fine,” he sighed. He knew it might be the adrenaline talking since he could feel blood trickling down his arm but he couldn’t be bothered by it right away. He tried to stand as low as he could before running to the door of the bathroom, almost completely blocking it off with his size. Taeil backed away a little before reaching for his arm. A sharp pain immediately shot up his arm, he could almost feel it in his face.

“What the fuck?” he recoiled his arm in pain.

“I thought it was nothing,” Taeil steely replied.

“Well, before you tried to yank my arm off, it was nothing.” The worst thing about Taeil being the boss and Johnny the bodyguard, he treated Johnny like his life was as important as his is, which was completely untrue—and he had to start believing that his safety was more of a priority that Johnny’s or they’re gonna have a problem. “I promise you, it’s fine. I’ve had worse.”

Taeil turned quiet. Johnny tried to focus on his breathing as he tried to listen to what is happening outside. He’s sure the house hasn’t been infiltrated, yet, if it had been, he would have been alerted by surveillance by now. “How come I’ve never seen worse?” Taeil suddenly asked quietly.

“You weren’t here,” he answered honestly albeit evasively.

“Was I in high school when you’ve had worse?” Johnny tried to think of another evasive answer but before he could think of one, Taeil added, “Was this the time when they found me? When they had to hide me and Hyuck away for a while because they were chasing us? I didn’t see you for a while after that.”

Johnny sighed. He was too young then—it had turned into a fight between their dads. Johnny’s father had overestimated his training and Johnny’s abilities and had put him to a test that day: a test of how effective he’ll be as the bodyguard of the next boss. The boss didn’t authorize Johnny’s involvement and was furious that the only person they were grooming for the job almost died. He got 3 gunshot wounds and four stabs that day. But Taeil and Hyuck managed to lose their tail—and that was enough for Johnny. It had been very risky, but he’d proven himself on that very day. He didn’t mind dying to protect the boss. “Yes.”

“You were seventeen, then.”

“Yes, I was.”

Taeil sighed, leaning against the sink. “Johnny—I know you think my life is more important than yours,” he murmured as he pulled Johnny’s arm a little, still making him wince, but gentler. “But you need to remember, you’re my last line of defense,” he continued, wrapping a clean cloth around the wound expertly. “You can’t just drop like that and say _it’s nothing._ ” He didn’t use his authoritative tone on Johnny that much, especially when it was just the two of them but when he did, Johnny knew that Taeil was _dead_ serious.

Johnny winced again when the makeshift bandage was completely tight against his shoulder to stop the bleeding. “Yes, sir,” he muttered.

“What?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I told you… not to call me _sir_ ,” Taeil moved forward and looked at his face. He rested a finger on Johnny’s cheek lightly. “And you’re my best friend. I don’t like seeing that, okay?” Although his words were soft, his tone was still authoritative and level, without a trace of weakness in them. He was debating about what he should do about that finger on his face when Yuta called again.

“ _Johnny, it’s clear_ ,” Yuta informed him from the other line.

“We need to move the boss’ room, they knew where he slept.

“ _I’ll tell the team hold up,”_ Johnny waited patiently as he listened to Yuta talk to another person on the phone. “ _We’ll move him to the other side of the house, near us, there isn’t any open space across the street here, just the back gate_.”

“Why can’t we just get him back to his original room? The one that’s landlocked.” Taeil immediately started pulling on his shirt, shaking his head quickly.

_“He hated it there, said it was too claustrophobic.”_

“Fine. I’ll just request for new guards, then.” He compromised.

“ _The cleaning staff is preparing the room, and we need to enable the cameras there, as well as reangle them, I’ll send Junho and two others when the boss is ready to transfer.”_

“Thanks—,” Taeil suddenly snatched the phone from him and started talking before he could even react.

“Yuta? Can you send someone to tend to Johnny’s wounds? He’s been shot and bleeding out, he could use a little help,” he looked at Johnny pointedly, as if to scold him. “Thank you.” He hung up before giving the phone back to his best friend. He didn’t really expect anything else from a mob boss.

—

Johnny’s morning was quick and Taeil-less. After the incident the night before, Taeil’s room has been transferred to the other side of the house after a small meeting, they’ve realized the importance of someone being that close to Taeil while he slept because guards outside the room couldn’t have noticed the thud right away, only someone from his room did. Johnny was, therefore, put in the room adjacent to Taeil’s new one. It was a lot smaller than the main room itself but still bigger and posher than his room in the annex. He kept his door open all night so he could see Taeil from where he slept and he could hear almost everything in his room. Guards were put back outside his room, although dismissing Ten the night before had nothing to do with the incident, they still wanted to be more vigilant. They’re striking while the family is vulnerable. Hyuck still hasn’t moved out from the basement room they’ve assigned him after the ambush but security was doubled up on him, too.

Johnny checked the clock—it was still 6 am and the guards outside Taeil’s room were the ones on rotation. Still, he’d have to be up, ready, and fully armed by 8 so he forced himself up and make sure his wound last night wasn’t infected or anything. It wasn’t too deep, but it hit a vein, explaining the amount of blood dripping out of him last night. The injury wasn’t significant, though. He just had to wear a fresh set of bandages every few hours and had to take some painkillers until it healed.

He went on his morning routine like usual, except he was much slower with one hand semi-incapacitated, and he also had to put on fresh bandages but he didn’t share a shower with Taeil so he didn’t have to worry about him walking in. That, however, didn’t matter to Taeil as he burst into Johnny’s bathroom while he was brushing his teeth, still damp and half-naked from his shower.

“Do you have a spare toothbrush you haven’t used? They didn’t put one in mine,” he complained, walking around the still-startled Johnny. He reached for the latch of the medicine cabinet before opening it wide, almost hitting his bodyguard on the face. He took a sealed toothbrush from inside it and stared at Johnny. “Surely, you haven’t used this yet, right?”

“No,” he stared at Taeil who had pulled his sleeves up and took Johnny’s toothpaste to spread some on his own toothbrush. “What are you doing here, you have a bathroom?”

“I told you, I didn’t have a toothbrush in mine.”

“You could brush your teeth there, though.”

“I didn’t have toothpaste, either. Geez, why are you pushing me out? Is this about last night? When I went all _Don Vito_ on you?”

Johnny didn’t answer because he had no idea why he was so fucking sensitive to Taeil’s invasion that morning. He was just taken aback. But for what reason, he didn’t have an idea, either. “You know how I get when you’re hurt.” He muttered, pouting, obviously apologetic.

“I know,” he finally answered. “I’ll try and be safer next time.”

“Perfect. Now let me brush my teeth in peace.”

—

Because of the incident from the previous night, all of the commanders, the family (which was just technically Taeil and Hyuck), the highest-ranking bodyguards, even their newest head, Hong Pilman, was present to do some new strategic planning. It was a flurry of words, people, and even arguments that Johnny couldn’t help but get a headache during the first three hours that he was on Taeil’s rotation. His boss so was so distracted, even, that he didn’t even notice Johnny leave by the end of his shift.

He didn’t want to miss the rest of the meeting but he had to get his gunshot wound checked so he had to ask Taeil’s secretary to give him a copy of the notes even though there was a huge chance they were going to be briefed about it anyway.

Taeil noticed he was gone a few minutes after eight pm, and it was mostly because the meeting was finally over and he had a chance to look around him. He was called into his office, Sungjin and Dohwa were supposed to be on rotation from 8 to 10 but he sent them away while Johnny was inside his room. “I’ll call you back later,” he assured the two hesitant guards, but they knew better than to argue Taeil when he had his body hunched over his table, clutching his temples for relief.

Johnny stood by the door to muffle his conversation with the two perplexed guards. “You can stand around the corner but don’t stand directly out here, just alert me when you notice anything weird but other than that, just leave him alone with me for now, okay?” he whispered to the two. Since he was head of Taeil’s security, his word was final. Even over Taeil’s. As soon as the two were out of earshot, he shut Taeil’s door and locked it behind him to make sure Taeil wasn’t disturbed. He quietly walked across the room to get one bottled water before putting it in front of their exhausted boss.

“Drink water,” he said quietly. “It’ll alleviate the stress; the headache could be from dehydration.”

“I’ve had lots of coffee today,” he reasoned.

“That doesn’t count. Drink.”

Taeil sighed and took three big gulps of the water before putting it down in front of him. “Happy?”

“Finish it, then maybe I will.” Johnny scooted forward, dragging a chair in front of him just like he did the other day, relaxing between Taeil’s legs. He reached over with his good hand and tried to gently massage his temples. “Long day?” he asked as Taeil relaxed against his hand.

“Super.”

“Can I do anything else to make you feel better?” In an attempt to be quieter with their conversation, Johnny’s voice had gotten exponentially low and deep—a tone he hadn’t used around Taeil in a while. Well, they haven’t had many private conversations like these in a while. They were always surrounded by other people or cameras. Taeil’s office was probably one of the remaining places on earth where they can still talk without anybody hearing them.

Taeil sat up straight, leaning closer to Johnny as if to listen to his quieter voice closely. “Yeah, you can.” Before Johnny could even ask what it was, Taeil had cupped his face gently and leaned in for a light kiss on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back from the dead. i needed to take a break from kpop in general it was getting a little bit too much for me but i'm back and i'm feeling so much better. i hope this update triggers consistent ones in the next weeks
> 
> thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s been 84 years

It didn’t last long as Johnny was first to pull away, lips still electrified from the contact. “ _I’m sorry,”_ he whispered against his cheek. “I just wanted to feel it again. For a while.”

Johnny still had his eyes shut. Yes, he knew. He knew that to Taeil, he wasn’t just a friend and protector, he was also an occasional relief provider. It didn’t sound completely innocent, but it basically just meant that Taeil... _kissed_ him sometimes, at some occasions, they’ve even made out with each other. But the entire time, Johnny knew that it was just stress relief on Taeil’s part, nothing more. “It’s okay.” He said, just like he does every single time. “If it helps…” he almost choked on his words, eyes still forced shut, not trusting his eyes to hide what he felt inside. He tried his best not to offer again, but he knew he wasn’t strong like that. “You can… Anytime.” He said almost in one breath, almost obvious that he’d been holding the words back until he couldn’t. 

“Really?” the older’s voice dropped a few octaves, tickling Johnny from the tip of his cheeks to the bottom of his spine.

“ _Always,_ hyung.”

Taeil’s hands which were resting on both of his knees traveled up. Thighs. Hips. Waist. Flat against his chest and stopped at his neck before pulling him back into his airspace. “Thanks.” Nothing so simple has ever broken his heart so intensely before. But his body still automatically responded when Taeil pressed a thumb on his throat lightly, prompting him to angle his head higher before their lips were pressed together once more. Unlike the usual, Taeil’s lips were dry and cold, probably from his exposure to the air conditioner the entire day—they were rough against Johnny’s lips, lightly scratching against his while they moved against each other. 

The older’s hands wrapped around his head, fingers carding through his thick hair. He felt Taeil’s breath across his cheek as he sighed. He’s feeling more relaxed and Johnny guessed he’d stop soon. He took the opportunity to touch Taeil’s face right before the older pulled away. 

“Feel better?” He managed to blurt before he said something stupid. 

Taeil sighed and pat the back of Johnny’s head before disconnecting altogether. “Yeah. A lot better.”

“Good.” Johnny decided to return the awkward favor and patted Taeil’s hip before sliding the chair back and away. He didn’t know what to feel. Well, he did. He just refused to think about it or he’ll shrivel and hide. Their kisses always left Johnny lightheaded and weak, and he usually used that opportunity to convince himself that nothing happened. That it was all just a dream. All he needed was a distraction.

And distraction did come. 

His phone started beeping incessantly as soon as he managed to pretend to be interested with a plant in Taeil’s office. “Doyoung’s here,” he said, voice too off-guard for his liking. He cleared his throat and reigned himself in. _Focus. Presence of mind, Johnny._ “He’s supposed to show you the business plan and some of the procurement he’s initiated.”

Taeil frowned and leaned back against his seat, studying Johnny. “That didn’t last long.” He took one last sigh before gesturing for Johnny to follow him out. And Johnny followed. Because that’s his duty. 

—

He met Doyoung by the front balcony. It was wide open albeit partially covered by the much taller security annex building: Johnny’s home for 25 years. It was one of the riskier parts of the house, and although it was just Johnny standing a few feet behind Taeil and Jaehyun standing a few feet behind Doyoung, he was quite sure almost every security staff was watching every single possible threat at the moment. Taeil didn’t like being watched like that so he reserved the balcony for rarer moments. Well, that’s what everyone thought. For Johnny, it was reserved for when Taeil is most frustrated—suffocated, that he’d be gasping for air, begging for a few minutes in the air. They forgot that their boss was almost like a prisoner. Hidden for his protection most of his life, the only time he’d been free to run around was in his late teens, when he and Johnny were in college. 

That plan had been elaborate. They sponsored rumors that the boss’ son was going to slip to New Zealand to study and for safekeeping. A son of quite a financially desperate family had volunteered to fly to New Zealand, pretending to be Moon Taeil. The longer he kept up the charade, the longer he managed to keep his family afloat. He was still given multiple security, of course, it was suspicious to leave him there alone. He was also allowed to _actually_ study there. Kind of like a risky scholarship and financial grant. Only he had to go by another name. Officially, the tax accountant currently in New Zealand, assumed to have shaken off his inheritance of the family, is Moon Taeil. And the man sitting in front of Kim Dongyoung right now is no one but _The Boss._

They managed to keep the spotlight off the actual Taeil enough to smuggle him off to Jeju where he was presented as Lee Jinhyuk, Donghyuck’s older brother who was living with their father until then. Johnny and Mark then moved in across the street with a few older members of the security staff who pretended to be their parents and a few others throughout the neighborhood, just keeping an eye out for both boys. Mark went to high school with Donghyuck. Johnny went to college with Taeil. They went to the same faculty and the same major—Business Administration. But Johnny wasn’t there to study, he was there to guard over Taeil. Back in college, Jaehyun had asked him: _what do_ you _want to be?_ Not what he was born to do, not what he was supposed to do—forget duty. If he was actually going to enroll, which course would he take? He didn’t honestly know. He wasn’t taught to think anything other than to become the boss’ guard. He was taught to fight, he was taught to kill. That’s all he knows what to do. But it didn’t stop him from thinking about the question. For weeks, he kept looking around the school, watching people from different majors gather around in groups, talking loudly about some concept they’ve discussed in class. He watched Sports Science majors run around fields and courts all afternoon, but none of them really attracted him. Maybe he just wanted to stay with Taeil.

Until Taeil took Music Theory as an elective and dragged him along. He horribly started to enjoy the class. He enjoyed it too much that he consistently dropped hints to convince Taeil to take another music elective, which worked, as they consistently took music electives up to their last year. It was horrible. He looked forward to every class, he even took notes and took the classes a lot more seriously than their major classes, even to the point of forgetting that he’s supposed to watch over Taeil and let him slip from his sight more times that he allowed himself. But he had seen what he wanted to do. In an alternate universe he’d probably be a music producer, but it cannot happen. He was the only one who could protect Taeil like he does and he can’t just let one affair with music get in the way of his responsibilities. As soon as graduation came around the corner, he’d successfully shaken off the thoughts of pursuing anything else other than what he’s supposed to do.

Those years as blockmates and neighbors were the best days of Johnny’s life. All four years of it had been the most normal that they had ever been. They were free together. They played around, laughed unabashedly, they even had their little sleepovers while they mostly just passed peanuts around, throwing them then catching them in their mouths. Taeil was really good at it. Maybe mostly because Johnny threw high and the older just threw shit straight into his mouth. “You’re cheating!” Johnny used to accuse him. 

Now he could _never_ raise his voice at Taeil. Much more accuse him of anything at all. 

He looked up at Jaehyun who was staring at him worriedly. He probably saw Johnny trail off somewhere else for a while there. He mouthed _focus_ at him, prompting him to straighten and re-evaluate the place. He didn’t think there was much to be worried about. Doyoung was someone they trusted, maybe Taeil a little less so, but that’s also because he doesn’t trust Doyoung’s father. Not even one bit. But Doyoung is pretty harmless. He wasn’t too inclined with the family as he was a legitimate businessman, and to be completely honest, he was too smart to simply assist a mob family. He just helped every now and then, especially when it came to the business part and usually excluded himself from everything else. He’s still slightly marked, though, which explains Jaehyun hovering over him whenever necessary, along with 3 other guards that his father got him. But Doyoung wasn’t a huge target, because he detached himself from other issues of the family, there weren't a lot of things they’d need from him. He lived freer compared to his father and older brother. Especially compared to Taeil.

Honestly speaking, they _could._ Taeil could just leave the house, followed by his parade of guards, they have enough money and power to intimidate everyone else and defend and retaliate whenever necessary. But Taeil chose to hide. He didn’t want his face to be known. It’s probably what agitates rival families and police right now. The only known son and heir of the family is Moon Taeil and he was currently an accountant in New Zealand, working for an accounting firm with no plans of stepping back into the country. If that was the case, there was definitely _another_ child taking care of the family right now. But no one knew who he was exactly. Some had an idea, some had seen Taeil before, but he doesn’t want to confirm it for them. He wanted to remain a history, a question-mark over his face on police yarn work. So he let himself be a prisoner in that house. Just so he can gain complete freedom when he does leave.

Johnny reviewed their surroundings, trying to spot if anything is out of the ordinary. But aside from distant activity from within the house and the sound of the conversation between Taeil and Doyoung, the house was relatively quiet. Some members of the security staff roamed around the balconies, and he was sure there were more inside the house, roaming and manning security cameras. It wasn’t usually this tightly secure, but the aftereffects of the two recent attacks on the house still haven't mellowed and everyone was still on edge, ready to respond.

Finally, after a few more minutes, the two men who were deep in their conversation eventually relaxed against their seats, putting their documents down. “That’s settled then,” Taeil nodded at Doyoung. “You’ll help Jungwoo?”

“Yes, sir.” Doyoung said promptly, neatly filing his papers back into his bag. “I’ve met with him before this and he said he’ll be waiting for your consent but we’re ready to start.”

“Good,” he nodded than motioned for Johnny to come forward.

“Sir?” he knelt on one knee beside him. Taeil stopped what he was going to say before glaring at him. Johnny cleared his throat. “Sorry. Hyung?”

“Tell building security to stop roaming, I’m fine. They’re distracting me.”

“I will do that right away.”

“Thank you.”

Johnny moved away for a while, sending Jaehyun a quiet signal to watch over the two while he stepped away. Quickly, he radioed Ten and relayed Taeil’s instructions that quickly went back to stand behind Taeil. Eventually, some of the building staff disappeared from sight. Most probably after certain reassignments with the CCTV staff to make sure they have no blind spots. Taeil and Doyoung were quietly talking sipping coffee even though the sun had set hours ago.

“Well, I need to go.” Doyoung finally sighed and Jaehyun stood straighter, getting ready. “Thank you for your time, sir.”

“Come if you need anything else.”

“I will.”

Jaehyun followed Doyoung out and Johnny was waiting for Taeil to leave so he can follow but he didn’t and leaned over the railings instead. He took a deep inhale when a strong, cold breeze came their way, shivering in the process, but he went and leaned anyway, enjoying looking around the compound as he leaned further… dangerously far as he stretched his entire upper body over the railing.

It felt like every single nerve in Johnny’s body fired up as he immediately ran to Taeil and clutched the back of his suit, creases be damned. “Hey!” He tugged him back a little, not enjoying the playful smile on Taeil’s lips. “You’d fall.”

“It’s fine. You’ll catch me anyway.” His voice was soft, the wind almost carrying the sound away. “Johnny the Superhero.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” he clutched Taeil’s suit harder, his other hand reaching forward to grab him in case he tips over. “Stop fucking around.”

Taeil frowned, stepping back from the railings a little. He could spot a few figures back away, as if they all rushed to catch Taeil in case he did jump. “Why so serious?”

“You were tipped over the edge!”

“You’re exaggerating.”

“You almost gave me a heart attack.” Johnny chastised, still dead serious. It wasn’t unlike Taeil to be darkly playful like this, but he hadn’t done it in so long, he’d forgotten how he usually reacted. The last time the older man had done it, they were in college and there were no _actual_ threats to his life yet. It was different now. Johnny was consistently fearful that he’d lose him.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” he used his knuckles to soothe Johnny’s cheeks.

“Joking around is fine but don’t put yourself in danger, okay?” 

“I know you worry about me,” he looked away, resting his elbows on the railings. “But you’ve been so serious lately. I know, I know,” he glanced at Johnny who had tried to interrupt him. “I’ve been serious lately, too. But it’s my job to be serious, I’m trying to do my best at it, but you’re always so… _on edge._ I want to remind you that I can take care of myself, too.”

“I know that… I just…”

“You’re making sure you’re doing everything to protect me, I know. But you need to chill, I’m not going anywhere.”

But Johnny’s heart was still heavy, he’s been carrying the weight of his worries since their fathers’ deaths. If _they_ weren’t invincible, why would Taeil be? A strong enough ambush can take down the two spearheads of a mob family in just one flash, would Taeil be impenetrable? “But, what if…”

“No,” Taeil faced him. “I’ve gotten the insider reports this afternoon, you know, our insiders from the rival family and the police force? They’ve reported that they don’t know who exactly is leading and they’re still trying to strategize, they don’t know who they’re dealing with so they don’t know what to do yet. As long as we’re quiet we’re gonna be left alone. The attacks last week was a disorganized, uncoordinated attack that just happened to almost target me. But they didn’t exactly know what they were targeting. Right now, what we’re gonna do is reconnect with my dad’s old allies within the government and the police force. They haven’t changed and they’re waiting for a new offer from the family to strengthen the ties. As long as we have protectors within the police force and the government, we have a lot less to think about. Okay? So chill a little, I’m not gonna die on you.”

Johnny tried to sigh the feeling off. He knew he could trust in Taeil’s abilities, he was tons better and aggressive compared to many of the security staff and was more than well-equipped to take care of himself. It’s just that he feels like _he’s_ not doing enough to keep him safe, it feels like he’s lacking. He nodded anyway, just to assure the older. 

“Oh, Johnny,” Taeil sighed. “What am I going to do without you?”

The question hit harder than he’d expected it to. Johnny could ask him the same thing. Taeil had the family, the whole system, under his responsibility—there’s a myriad of things he could distract himself with. And when he leaves, he’ll have a new life somewhere else. 

“You’ll live,” Johnny shrug. “You’ll live more than you are living right now—tenfold. You’ll get your MBA, you mentioned you wanted it, right? You’ll get a nice urban apartment, get a job you _actually_ like, or you can open a business. Instruments. You’ll sell musical instruments. Mark will be there with you.” Johnny smiled at the thought of a free Taeil. Of a free Mark. Smiling, wind against their faces, free to do whatever they wanted to do. 

“But where are you in this equation?” 

“All this time I’ve been selfish by wanting to come with you. I rarely thought of my brother who could have a chance at a normal life after if he came with you.” Johnny turned to him, envisioning his face in the sea of people who didn’t know him—in a sea of people who didn’t want to endanger him. “You should both be safe. You should both be far from all these. I trust Mark to take care of you, and I trust you’ll take care of my brother.”

“What will he do without Hyuck?”

“He’ll manage.”

“Johnny,” his voice became urgent, as if he’s trying to get it through Johnny. “ _What will I do without you?_ ”

“You’ll find someone else,” although it pained him to say, he knew there was nothing else he could do. Taeil would move on, create a life of his own. “You will find someone else to protect you, plus, Mark’s there, he has sworn to protect you and Hyuck.”

“Mainly Hyuck.”

“And you’ll meet new people, you’ll fall in love, maybe get married, create a family. There doesn’t have to be space for me in this equation.”

“I want to make space for you.”

“Keep it small. I don’t want to remind you of the chaos of this world.”

He deserves so much more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you very much for being patient with me! i’ve undergone a huge change in my life recently. i quit my old job and moved back home and since i haven’t been here in like, 8 years, i’m still heavily adjusting since i’ve been used to being alone for so long. i just got back into writing and i hope this inspiration continues. thank you for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for a while i didn’t know which direction to take and which plot to strengthen while writing this so i didn’t know what to do, but now i’m back on track and hopefully it becomes for consistent!

The family has gone back to normal.

After the period of disorganization after the multiple ambushes against them, they’ve finally gone back on track and fell into a comfortable groove. Both he and Hyuck had also familiarized all of the businesses and connections that the family is involved with. The police commissioner, a few more highly-ranked uniformed officials as well as politicians agreed to stay within their payroll, the gun shop successfully opened without any hitch, and they managed to chase away rival groups. He sent in their best hitman for it, they called him Big Luke, but Taeil hasn’t even seen him before. 

Johnny said it only took him 2 shots from his .45 1911 to take down one of the highest commanders of the rival family—one shot through both eyes, effectively chasing them off Seoul. They’ll still exist of course, but it was enough of a message—a warning. Taeil doesn’t like ambushing. His father always told him, send a warning first, they weren’t savages like the others, and they’re in power for a reason, and the other families knew that too. Big Luke’s signature was identifiable enough for all the family marksmen that came before him and trained him. The other families knew the message meant that the family was ready. They either back off, or watch everything they own all crumble to the ground. 

They didn’t need to be told twice. 

Hyuck loved it—he mainly enjoyed getting his freedom back. He missed shopping, he said. 

Lee came one day and told him someone wanted to meet him, someone who wanted to be a part of the payroll for the first time. Someone high enough to request for the boss and not his representative. “Now, sir, I know you don’t like showing your face but if he becomes a protector… it’s a big deal.”

“We have the Commissioner General, other police officials, military officials, senators and congressmen, I think we have enough people on our payroll.” He had all the windows in his office wide open, letting all the air in for the first time in months. He was relaxed and cross-legged on his office chair, looking out onto the bodyguard building. Johnny was probably sleeping at that moment, his shift just ended and he didn’t have training. 

“Sir, we can have someone very high up. It could assure that your term would be peaceful, it could extend to at least a few years of Sir Donghyuck’s term.” At the mention of ensuring a smooth transition for Hyuck’s term he finally considered, turning to face Lee. He was so much like Taeyong. He wasn’t short but he looked that way because he was narrow-boned but just like his son. He didn’t have the face of a Consigliere, he had soft-features and a gentle demeanor. He could pass off as a good-looking, middle-aged accountant while Taeyong could easily pass off as a celebrity. 

“Just make sure to follow the protocol.” Lee assured him before excusing himself. The protocol involved some orientation to the rules of the family, what it meant to be supported by the family, their responsibilities, and of course, some threats, too. 

When the day finally came, Taeil made sure to dress even more intimidating. He usually just styled his hair to the side but Johnny helped him slick his hair back.

“How should I dress to terrify?” He asked him through the mirror. Johnny was very focused on massaging his head while he tried to dry it. 

“Just the shirt and the vest, and wear the holster,” Taeil looked at him through the mirror and realized that it’s exactly how Johnny was dressed. He smirked at him when he spotted Taeil’s realization. 

“Shoulder or chest?”

“Hmm,” Johnny massaged his neck, allowing him to relax against him. “Shoulder holster, it looks more relaxed. You can’t look too ready, it might give him an impression that you’re terrified of him.”

Taeil scoffed. 

Johnny continued toweling his hair, applying gentle pressures on his head, relieving him from all the morning stress. “But you have the chest holster on.” He commented on the leather bind that scratched against the back of Taeil’s head from time to time. 

“I’m your bodyguard. If someone is supposed to look alert, it should be me.”

Johnny’s presence relaxed him. It wasn’t simply because he knew someone in the room was wired to protect him, but also because his weird instinct to protect Johnny also made him hyperaware and consequently, more ready. “He’s coming with only two guards, they’ll be overpowered, they won’t attempt anything.” Johnny murmured almost to himself while he combed his hair before gelling it back. 

When he finished washing his hands off the hair products and wiped it off, he walked in front of Taeil and took his jaw to steady him while he studied his work. Taeil stared at his face, scrunched in concentration. Johnny took everything that had anything to do with him so seriously even styling his hair had to be done with so much intensity. 

“Lighten up,” he chastised him with the gentlest voice he could manage. “Even your sleep talk sounds angry.”

Johnny tensed and paused. “I sleep talk?”

“Sometimes,” he smiled, remembering one of the few instances that he didn’t sound angry in his sleep. He was calling out to Taeil, but instead of his current, clipped ‘ sir’ in front of other people, or his strained ‘ hyung’. In that dream, he was using his old, ‘ Taeil hyung ’ back when they were in college. He’d murmured ‘ let’s go into the temple ’ in his sleep. He suddenly remembered all the times they’d planned on visiting Cambodia for the culture and fresh air but they never got to. Now they may never get to. “Don’t worry, they’re harmless murmurs.”

Johnny sighed while he wiped the product off Taeil’s forehead. He smelled like mint and watermelon, just like his shampoo. Taeil had a really strong urge to lean forward and press a kiss on his nose but he held back. He wasn’t stressed enough to deserve to feel happy again. “Done.” Johnny immediately pulled away and put everything back in their place. “You should go change, it’s almost 10. I’ll wait for you outside.”

Taeil stopped him. “Wait here and watch me change.” Johnny stared at him intensely for reasons he didn’t understand but he just shrugged it off. He could not read him lately. 

He had to be fashionably late, of course. Taeil dressed slowly while Johnny sat on his bed, busying himself with his phone even though he’s already gotten word that their visitor is already within the house grounds. “Does this look good?” He inquired, facing Johnny after buttoning his vest on. 

“Yeah, but roll your sleeves up.” He did as instructed and looked at himself in the mirror. Johnny was right, it did make him look like he wasn’t too stuck up, but still lethal. Johnny stood behind him again, fixing his collar before putting on the shoulder holster for him. “He’s been in your office for a few minutes now, Jaehyun’s watching him.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

-

Taeil barely took notice of the two tall guards outside his office door and a much older man sitting with one leg crossed over the other on his office couch and just walked straight to his seat and Johnny followed after him, closing and blocking the door behind him. Taeil took the time to clasp his watch around his wrist before facing the visitor. 

It was Vice President Shin. 

“How lovely to see you Mr. Vice President,” Taeil drawled, his mirthless tone contradicting his choice of words. 

“Likewise,” he smiled in genuine politician fashion—which meant it was almost as fake as Taeil’s. “I was looking forward to meeting the head of the family that Choi had been gushing about.” Taeil almost laughed at the statement. Senator Choi has been part of the payroll since his father’s early days—an old traditional politician who hasn’t lost an election in 30 years with the support of the family. 

“Let me get straight to the point,” Taeil leaned against his table. “You’ve been a politician for a while now, you’re the Vice President, why now?”

“Simple,” he lost his smile and brandished a determined expression. “I want to be President.” Political ambition, typical. “Our current head of state is very popular and our research points to the fact that whoever he endorses will win. Unfortunately, we just got word that he’s endorsing another Senator from our party. I’m going to need more support to win the election.”

“That seems pretty straightforward,” Taeil leaned back against his chair and relaxed. “Lee has briefed you about what it means to be supported by the family?”

“Yes,” for some reason, Shin looked smug. “If I win, you’d have the Head of State as your protector. I know Commissioner General Park is also part of your payroll, both of us working together can sweep all of your activities off the record.” They’ll basically run the entire country. Hyuck will never have to worry as long as Shin is in position. That would give him four years to fully take charge and he’d be fully adjusted by then. “I’ll make sure to re-appoint Park, too, of course.”

“Why did you insist on meeting me?”

“Well, if you could threaten me, I sure could threaten you, too, right?” The reaction Johnny made was immediate and sudden when he stepped forward, muscles tensed, but Taeil held his hand and stopped him just as quickly. 

“It’s fine.” He knew that with Johnny’s training, backing off at that moment was completely out of the question, but he had a higher command: follow Taeil’s instructions. 

“Shin,” Taeil made sure to address him as informally as possible to show him who’s got the upper hand here. “I know you think how much it could mean if we got you as a protector but we’ve got more than enough. We have more people in our payroll who could stuff you in a barrel, fill it with cement, and throw you onto the bottom of the river, never to be found again than you have allies. Whatever you’re thinking right now, get rid of it. We’re not your people, you’re ours. Now, you either come out of here a pliant protector or in a body bag, you choose.” Judging by the suppressed smile on Johnny’s face, he probably made his point. 

He sat back in his chair and pretended to busy himself with something else. “We can fund your campaign, you will win it, we can give that assurance. In exchange, those too heavy for the others to clean up will be cleaned by you. Fair?”

Shin re-straightened in his seat, relaxing at the thought that he probably won’t be murdered today. “Fine.” He sighed. 

He turned to Johnny, still tensed with his arms crossed. In the years that he’d been training with Johnny, he knew that he used that stance if he wanted his hand to be as near to his gun as possible. “Johnny,” he inquired gently. “Call Jaehyun.” 

“Yes, sir.”

Since he was standing guard outside, Jaehyun immediately came into the room. “Please assist Mr. Vice President to Lee, and take Kim with you, too.”

“Small Kim, or Big Kim?”

“Small Kim, they have to talk about money.”

“Right away, sir.” 

Jaehyun faced Shin while Taeil continued to busy himself with something else. He eventually relented and followed Jaehyun out of the office. Even when they’d been out for a few minutes, Johnny remained by the door, standing still. “Johnny, relax and sit down.”

“In a while,” he sighed and moved his limbs to stretch. “Why did you let him do that?”

Taeil beckoned Johnny with his finger, asking him to come forward. Johnny did but he stood on the other side of the table. “No, here.” He turned his seat to allow Johnny to come closer. He pulled Johnny by the belt, much to the younger’s surprise before wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his cheek against his abdomen. “Stop worrying.”

“He was threatening you,” Johnny grumbled, but negated his annoyance by resting both his palms on his neck, thumb soothing back and forth. 

“He’s translucent and frail, you could have shoved him and he could have broken four bones, he was no threat.” Taeil buried his face into Johnny’s abdomen more comfortably through locking his fingers around Johnny’s belt loops. “I can take care of myself. You know that, right?”

“I’d prefer it if you didn’t have to. I just want you to be safe. After this year you’ll be somewhere else, you can open a coffee shop or a restaurant, and Mark will go back to school and finish college. And you’ll never have to be scared.” Taeil didn’t say anything. He hated how Johnny just erased himself from the narrative. Everything sounded nice, it just needed more Johnny to be perfect. He’ll always need Johnny for his life to be perfect. 

\- 

It has been a while since he worked out so when he finally got an entire day free of meetings, he immediately followed Johnny to the gym. It was still seven in the morning when he arrived but Johnny had already been sweating like he’d been at it for hours. He was kick-boxing, as usual, but he eventually joined him in some stretching and running. Most of the security staff cautiously stepped out of the room until it was just the two of them, working on the weights. Johnny usually trained him and they were used to the dynamic so they didn’t have to talk much. 

After two hours of non-stop training, his arms started to burn but he was riding on an adrenaline high. He was in such a good mood that he and Johnny were just laughing and chatting while they walked back to the house. They were closely watched but he barely noticed and went straight to his room that still had Johnny in the extension room. 

While preparing for their own showers, he grumbled about the suffocating nature of the room, and when he walked out of the shower, he continued complaining. “Have you talked about moving me back somewhere with actual sunlight and oxygen? ” He asked Johnny who he could see was doing his skincare routine through the open door that divided their rooms. 

“I’ve requested it already,” Johnny answered. “I’m waiting for the go signal and we’ll move you to your dad’s old room.” Taeil quietly changed into his cotton shorts and a loose shirt. He was drying his hair by the mirror when Johnny walked in sweatpants, shirt in hand rather than worn. “That’s okay with you?”

Taeil could barely hear him so he shut the dryer and turned to see that he had already walked closer. He had an expression of genuine concern as he maintained eye contact while he slipped into his shirt. It’s a black one that he sometimes shared with Taeil back in college. 

A mix of his adrenaline high and his recent intensifying fondness and concern for Johnny prompted him into reaching up for his nape and pulling him down to crash their lips together. He started gentle but prodding, and Johnny’s lips were warm, soft, and minty and he smelled so good he couldn’t help but pull him closer. Taeil was so relaxed against Johnny’s arms but Johnny was still obviously very tense. 

Taeil pulled back a little to whisper, “Relax.” He moved one of his hands to cup Johnny’s face as he pressed a very light kiss against his eyelid, that in itself already made Johnny loosen his deathly grip on the back of his shirt. He kissed his nose, and Johnny’s palm started running against his lower back, causing his shirt to ride up a little. He pressed one more light kiss against his lips, and when Johnny completely relaxed against him, he pressed a much longer kiss to coax another deep, open-mouthed one. 

Johnny kissed him back with equal fervor—he was tingling from head to foot, and when Johnny started licking into his mouth and backing him up against the wall, he made an involuntary sound that sent his mind spinning. He could barely think, all he could think of is how much he wanted Johnny’s lips all over him. But not yet, he wanted to savor this first. 

He was flush against the wall, desperately clutching onto the front of Johnny’s shirt, pulling him even closer, as if he could consume him if he could. Johnny’s groans sent vibrations across his face and neck—you could feel them both start to lose control. 

Taeil moved further first, disconnecting their mouths, leaving a trail of saliva between them, but he didn’t allow himself to breathe as he moved to licking a line down to the base of Johnny’s neck. Johnny shivered and held onto the wall, breathing hot and heavy on his ear. Taeil continued to mouth at his throat, taking his Adam’s Apple in between his lips before using the tip of his tongue to tease him. 

“Hyung…” for a moment, Johnny sounded nineteen again, lighthearted and gentle. Taeil can feel the vibrations against his tongue. He smiled against his throat before kissing him back on the mouth, this time even deeper than before, and if possible, even more intensely. He started backing Johnny to the bed until he sat on top of the mattress and they had to separate. Their kissing spiked Taeil’s high even more and he immediately started to climb on top of his lap, giving his face multiple, smaller pecks before focusing back on his mouth. 

It was not difficult to lay Johnny back onto the bed, his hands warm on Taeil’s bare legs, running up and down. His hands were hiking so high up his legs—he was massaging the back of his thighs so firmly and started kissing down the column of Taeil’s neck. His body was getting hotter and he was aware that he was probably obscenely breathing but he couldn’t help it. His hands pressed against Johnny’s chest and he tried to kiss every thing he could reach his temple, his forehead—Johnny’s hands were moving to the inside of his thighs—then a sharp ringing made Johnny disconnect immediately, as if he’d been doused by cold water. “Hyung…” he panted, face red and dazed. “That’s Yuta, it’s an emergency ringtone, you gotta get off.”

Taeil groaned, still unsatisfied, but he knew he had to let Johnny go. He rolled off Johnny and tried to calm himself down. So many parts of him needed calming down. When he started to think clearly again, he started feeling unsure. If this was anything like the last time, it was sure that he wouldn’t be able to detach easily again. The last time he was hooked on Johnny it took him years to stop searching him out, and now he’s hooked himself again. He relapsed. 

-

Johnny was almost running to the security room, desperately shaking off the shake in his system. They got carried away. Again. The last time this happened, they were in college, stressed, hormonal, and on Johnny’s part at least—in love. They tried so hard to stop right before they had to be sent back to the compound, terrified that they’d be caught and would have to be separated. Taeil sometimes found a way, but eventually, they managed to stop. And now they’re back at it again. 

He rushed into the room still out of breath. Yuta and Jaehyun immediately turned to him with unreadable expressions, just looking at him while he tried to regain his wits. “I would have loved to keep watching but you told me to call if it happened again.”

“Well, that’s you.” Mark murmured who was on the other side of the room, intensely watching Hyuck’s surroundings through the CCTV while he walked around the compound. 

“Why didn’t you call right away?” Johnny breathed. 

“We were debating whether to do it or not!” Yuta defended himself. “I know you told me to call but Taeil’s our boss now, what if he found out that I called you for no reason apparently? It was a moment of weakness, I’m sorry.”

He sat in a corner for a while as he tried to steady his breathing. 

“What are you gonna do now?” Jaehyun asked eventually. He saw the entire thing on camera, considering he’s sitting nearest the monitor that had a full view of Taeil’s bed, so Yuta has probably at least explained to him why the boss and his bodyguard suddenly started making out. 

“I’ll just have to hope we don’t fall into the cycle again.”

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am unsure of how that whole thing went because i’ve never written johnil that intensely before—i am so scared hhhhhh
> 
> please forgive me if it sucked 🥺✌️
> 
> thank you for taking the time to read this update, as usual you can ask questions or just talk to be about the story through twitter but unfortunately, my main, choisoftcheol is restricted so i can be contacted through the comments or through my alternate twitter account:  Twitter 


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